seriously, as a parent, will we ever not have a rest from this?
ha! i doubt it!
no matter if its guilt inflicted on us by our own thoughts, or by the children themselves, it is a reality for every parent.
Yesterday was such a perfect example for me, Kaylee was dropped off to my place after school, Olivia comes out and shows her a jewelery box that i got from the Op Shop for her, Kaylee automatically goes on the offensive, asking me if i got one for her too, of course i did not, and explained to her that no she didn’t get a jewelery box but i found her a few books that i thought she might enjoy. this wasn’t good enough because she liked what her sister had, and wanted the same. i explained to her that she was lucky that i thought of her and found some nice books for her and that her attitude wasn’t acceptable, while it was ok to be disappointed that she didn’t get the same as her sister, it was not ok to try and make me feel bad when i did my best to find her something i thought she would like too.
but in my mind i felt as guilty as hell.
its always going to be hard for me to keep all 3 children happy at the same time. there will be times where i spend more time with one child than the other, or buy one clothes and not the others. this i guess will be there little life learnings and some that for them, at their ages are hard.
but why, as parents, do we beat ourselves up so much about this! we always want what is best for our children, no doubt about it, but to constantly feel guilty about not affording, or not providing, or forgetting about something, not spending enough time, spending too much time, no matter what we do, we question it.
sometimes its nice to have it confirmed that we are indeed getting it right, that yes children always want what they cant have, but we can only do our best.
its up to us to work on how to handle that guilt. because it will always be there. and i wonder how much of it comes down to our own self esteem about ourselves, being rubbed off into our self esteem as a parent.
what do you think?