Dreams/Goals/Careers how have they changed for you?

I think back to when i was young, all my life, up until i was 16 i wanted to be – WAS GOING TO BE a Hairdresser, i would always do my sisters hair, always get mine cut in different ways, id love doing my friends hair and loved cuts and styles beyond my years.

Add to this the fact that i loved to create, Fashion Design at school was a fave subject, to create an outfit, a magazine, to attempt to put my ideas from mind, to paper, to fabric.

i couldnt (still cant) stand using patterns, give me a tutorial, or measurements, or fabric and pins and scissors and i would try and put together a creation, a bag, a skirt. my sewing is shit. my patience is nill, if i have an idea i wanted to get it out before my vision was gone. but dont look underneath, you might cry at the assembling of it!

The day i turned 14 i started working in a hair salon. infact i left my birthday lunch, to go to my first day of “proper” work, cleaning, sweeping, bum work. but i LOVED it, hell i wanted to be a hairdresser, i wanted this so bad, and you always start at the bottom!

after about a year i was good at helping with perms, washing hair, deep conditioning massage, helping with colours, learning about different products and cuts.

i was offered an apprenticeship with the salon and i was allowed to bring in my own client once a week, do a cut, try a colour, not to mention the way my own hair was going. styles before my time definitely.

i was living my dream, of course i was still at school, doing fashion design and other subjects, but work was where my heart was at. there was only one problem. the migraines i had suffered from all my life where getting worse and worse after work, id spend many a day off school because i had worked the previous night, the perming solutions, constant hairspray, peroxides, disinfectants. the chemicals and the smells.

i had to give up hairdressing.

this was my dream. and i had to give it up.

i decided to then become a teacher, and study early childhood education and teaching and teach new entrants.

as much as i love children, adore them, this wasnt where my heart was at.

the classes i had excelled at all year, i failed. i didnt get into University and i ended up at a stalemate in my life. however i got an A in fashion Design 🙂 (and i passed history from memory too)

i got pretty depressed really, i left home, i was clashing with my parents daily anyway, i moved into a flat and worked 5 days a week at a bakery, and 2 days of the weekend at the dairy.

wow. awesome life for an 18 year old aye.

this only lasted a few months, the bakery went bust when the manager took off never to be seen again, and i quit my job at the dairy, i went on the poxy unemployment benefit, i hated just being at home. nothing to do, it wasnt my home, i was uncomfortable there and quite frankly out of my depth in that house. i did not belong at all.

i started getting the herald every day. i found a job as an insurance sales rep which lasted about a week…. and then i went to the tertiary provider pages, i rang up and got enrollment forms sent to me, i decided on a Diploma of Business Management, giving me skills in Computing, Economics, Accounting and Marketing.

about a month later i was living up in Auckland, boarding with some family friends, the only people i knew in Auckland. i found a job in the butchery of the local Pak n Save and i went to tech 5 days a week and worked both days of the weekend.

i passed my course with flying colours, absolutely ADORED living in Auckland, being in the city every day for tech, seeing the vibrancy, the people, the colours! Marketing was my most favorite module, and since then i have developed a passion for Marketing and Advertising.

i got a Job as a receptionist, after a year moved up into Accounts and did the Payables for the company i worked for. until i got pregnant with Kaylee.

i havent worked since. i liked the place and people where i worked, i hate being in an office. seriously. its not me, and i could only work that out by doing it and having that experience.

since then ive been at a complete stalemate in my life, career – well i have none. this is why i have decided to do the study that im doing. it will help me to be more creative via my words, blog, writing, stories etc.

im still being creative with fabrics, all the time, i will add some photos to the end of this post of some things i have made. i love it. i love fashion and wish i had money to buy all my clothes from certain places because i would look SO different to how i do now, the way i want to look, the styles, the hair. the way i dress now is not how i want. but its what i can do. for now.

there have been several times in my adult life where i have thought about hairdressing again.  i think my time has passed with this dream, however ive been growing my own hair and its the longest its ever been, only because im too stubborn to get it cut into a cut i dont like, and i havent found one that i do like, just yet!

every day brings something new for me. so i will keep with my passions, i will continue to be creative using different mediums, and i will just see where all this leads me.

still just putting one foot infront of the other



About yngmamac

Mama of 3, i love to craft and create, I have BiPolar and Borderline Personality Disorder, i always try to see the positives and sometimes have to remind myself of what im grateful for, i say it how i see it, i talk a lot about Mental Illness, family life, crafts, recipes and living with limited means and funds. More than Instant Noodles is about living on a budget, how to work with what you have and hopefully educate others a little too :) xox
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One Response to Dreams/Goals/Careers how have they changed for you?

  1. Natasha says:

    And that is the best thing for any of us to do really.
    One foot in front of the other.

    Once again another lovely sneak peak into your life.

    I think you would be an amazing hairdresser, and it’s such a shame that you can’t actually do it…Maybe you could open the first chemical free salon???

    I wish you nothing but the greatest success in life and all your endeavors.
    You deserve it.

    On a personal note…It gives me strength, strength I need now more than I have ever in my life, to read your stories hun.

    You help me remember that we can do it.

    You are partly the reason I am fighting for my rights. The fact that you wont/dont give up but you also don’t beat yourself up. Something I’ve done all my life.

    You inspire me to remember that I am capable. That I am strong. That I have a voice and that anyone, battling/living with an illness or not, can be do and have all they desire….by taking it one step at a time.

    Thank you.

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