People can say until they are blue in the face how tolerant they are, how unbiased and understanding they can be and how supportive they are of others and their differences.
the proof is in the pudding baby.
they can say all they like. but the sad reality is that a lot of it is just words. there is never any action behind these words, its too hard to deal with, or it may be stressful. or they dont want to see someone in such a mess, all kinds of excuses.
and yes while you DO have to be selfish in life and put yourself first at times, there are also times when you are not the most important person in the room. when someone else is desperately crying out for help and love and support.
are you going to follow the crowd and walk away? or are you going to be the small percent who gives a damn?
the thing is with Mental Illness in any form, is that noone ever can just ‘snap out of it’ or ‘control their feelings’ or ‘be strong’ its far deeper than that, no matter what the illness is, it is just that, an illness. mostly a hidden illness. but an illness non the less. one that we have to learn to manage and control and work around in order to live as normal a life as possible.
everyday we face more stigma than most, and a lot of it is our own doing, we try to mind read, predict others actions, what others are thinking, and by doing this we push them away.
but doesnt everybody need somebody?
someone with mental illness cannot get well on their own. if you left them to it, they would not make it through.
they need soft but firm guidance, support and PRACTICAL help.
half the time, when someone is at their worst, dont try to make them feel better. because it wont happen. just be there. and not just in the background, sometimes you have to force yourself onto the person. especially if they are really unwell.
and they might get pissy at this. and even though they know that you care, they cant work out why. so they get angry that they are getting attention. or help. or support. DONT STOP THIS! no matter how angry they get. because they dont think they deserve it.
i would much rather have an friend who is pissed at me for forcing my support onto them than a dead friend. (im not meaning support in a smothering way either btw)
we see so many people turn their backs on us. because it gets too hard. wellness is something we constantly aim for. but its not something we can snap our fingers and have automatically.
but its so easy to walk away and forget about someone, you have so much in your own life to sort out right? so much going on you couldnt think about adding another person to that, no matter how close they are to you.
are you going to feel that way when they are dead? when they think noone is there anymore, what the hell is the point? they will give up. they do give up. every damn day.
sometimes your friends and family become unwell, they get to a point where the decisions they make, you question. dont be afraid to step in. because while yes ultimately these are adults, who legally can make their own decisions, sometimes they are in such an altered state that what they perceive to be right. is so far from it.
and again i will say, wouldnt you rather have a friend or family member who is shitty at you for stepping in, than one who wasnt here at all?
its the reality. we cannot do it on our own. we cannot get well overnight. its a freaking long process that takes time, patience, perseverance, many times a relapse, many times to start again.
stop walking away. start caring.